I’m a fit momma. I am. I admit it. I am fit. I am a momma. I’m one of those people that like to workout. I like to eat healthy. I also like being a momma (most of the time).
If that makes me weird, then I am all kinds of crazy, because I really love it.
However…years of going hard at the gym, at work, and at “mom-ing” have taken their toll. Recently, I have had to…ahem…start stretching. This is something I really never did before, because I GO HARD and SWEAT and ALL OUT, ALL THE TIME. I don’t stop to stretch and…breathe. I’m not a freaking yoga master. I was l-i-m-b-e-r, don’t get me wrong, but not like, you know, a human pretzel or anything.
But. And that looks like a small word, but let me tell you that is a BIG BUT, I was not doing what my body needed. My body was about to tell me to stop. Stop, I say. My body needed knots worked out, nerves un-pinched, and air. I wasn’t even breathing correctly. I looked okay, but I wasn’t healthy.
I was hurting. And it hurt.
I have a high pain tolerance because I’m very klutzy. I run into stuff all the time. I trip. I get caught in my purse strap getting out of the car. I fall over non-existent cracks in the air. I can live with that pain and the indignity of it all. The pain my body was going through was different. It was (is) constant and achy and was (is) wearing me out.
For those of you who don’t know me from Adam, my body does all kinds of weird stuff. Like, I’ll have to have brain surgery at some point in my life to fix a chiari malformation that I have that causes stuff like insomnia, poor circulation, and klutziness. Yes, there is a medical reason for my lack of coordination, and I’m SO happy that I can blame it on something! (I’m just mentioning that because someone out there has this and might read this and feel better knowing they aren’t the only one who has this going on in their life. Love you, whoever you are! Call me anytime!)
Anyhoo, I was having a horrible burning sensation that went through my hip, down my leg, and almost into my calf every night for years. Years. It was awful. Then, I got tennis elbow. In BOTH arms. I don’t even play fricking tennis.
Even through this, I was going all out, all the time. I had added in a little stretching, but nothing major. And I can say this, cause it’s about me, but that was a dumb thing to do. People, moms especially, give yourself a break! Going all out, all the time is NOT a good thing. It’s not good mentally, physically, or emotionally. It’s okay to not do all the things. It is!
Okay. Back to the story.
So…where were we? Yes. I was about to tell you that I turned 40 (!!!!!!) and that is when I took a breathing lesson. An actual person gave me an actual lesson on how to breathe. And I couldn’t do it. I got light-headed and started sweating and had to SIT DOWN, because this FIT MOMMA with good arms and a decent body fat percentage was worn out from BREATHING CORRECTLY. It was mortifying. Mortifying.
Then, it wasn’t mortifying. It was enlightening. I could almost feel the lightbulb turn on over my head when I realized…I don’t ever breathe. I just run from workout to mom duty to homeschool mom duty to client to client to client to wife stuff to friend to being a daughter and I have so many roles that I’m never just….ahhhhh…breathing. I think most moms, most people in general, are this way. We do the things we think we have to do, but don’t always do the things we ought to do for us. As individuals. As people who take care of other people. I thought I was taking care of myself, but I wasn’t. I was being stubborn and it was causing major problems in my body.
I’m not going to lie and say it was easy after that. It wasn’t. It’s not. I have had to have steroid injections in my back (Yay! No more leg pain!) and in my arm (Boo! Cortisone flare is real bitch!) and have had to cut waaaayyy back on gym time. Gym time was my only alone time, guys, and if you don’t work from home with a husband who also works from home and ALSO homeschool two kids, then you may not realize how important gym time was to me. (And when I say “gym time”, I mean lifting heavy and doing things normal people don’t do in workouts.) The bright side is that I’ve had to learn how to stretch, learn how to move my body in different ways, and learn how to breathe, and those are challenges that I didn’t even know I had to overcome.
I can breathe now. Like, really take a deep breathe without getting dizzy. And I can also BREATHE now. Work is crazy. Life is crazy. My kids are crazy. But I’m not crazy. I’m going to be okay.
I’m a fit momma. It’s who I am.